You Lose Mr. Bond
When it comes to developing a website or writing a successful blog you need to remember that it won’t always be all fun and games. Sometimes you’ll need to sit down and focus on writing a very serious post like “Are Chihuahua’s Holding Back Your Website?“. Sure chihuahuas may be tiny little beasts, but that doesn’t mean that their very existence can’t be a deterrent to your success. You can’t miraculously expect to create one of the richest companies in the world while fooling around and having a good time; you need to keep that serious “I AIN’T BLUFFIN” business face at all times like Google did with these top secret projects.
moar funny pictures
It’s obviously no secret then that all the most successful bloggers look to Super Squirrel when in need of inspiration. Super Squirrel is always available to help you stay focussed so you can Plot You Plan for success… in an evil way of course! In fact, it’s important not to let the big guns intimidate you and it is therefore recommended you post slanderous posts about them whenever possible such as when I wrote about how I hacked Google and stole their robot lolol! If you can’t improve your website, at least such rumor spreading posts can help make your competitors look bad so the end result is still a better view of your own site! On that note, also remind visitors often that your competitors are actually drug dealing zombies who plan to have Googlebot Index Your Brain for their own head feasting pleasures.
If all else fails and it appears you’ve somehow condemned your website to failure despite following all of the above advice, there is still one last hope for you! When in doubt, resort to starting conspiracy theories! Remember when in all seriousness I wrote, “HELP! My TrackBacks Have Been Kidnapped!“. This was an excellent conspiracy that had all my readers searching the internet for my lost trackbacks. If that doesn’t work, you can also try boosting your own ego by discussing the failures of others such as when I wrote, “Are You Sad Because Nobody Visits Your Website?”
At the end of the day, if your website is still a black hole void of even the smallest glimpse of light or hope then the real problem is that you were a clone. If you clone you’ll end up alone!
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